Should i hate my mom

The key to anger is recognizing it and learning how to use it productively. A productive reaction to anger is to first identify when it is occurring, and then pause to reflect on the source and cause.

If you are able to understand how your boundary has been violated, you can respond effectively by standing up for yourself constructively, using assertive communication , and re-establishing the boundary that has been defined. This process is not as easy as it sounds, as anger often makes for impulsive action. Although it might feel rewarding to satisfy this urge in the moment, it almost always leads to regrettable consequences, such as name-calling, hurtful comments, threats, or physical aggression.

This is because anger seeks retaliation—to hurt the other as you have been hurt yourself. Instead, you will be left with the carnage of your impulsive anger-driven response, which usually corresponds with feelings of guilt as you may then feel obligated to apologize to the aggressor. This creates a vicious cycle of reciprocal jabs between each of you without getting either of your needs met in a productive way.

Instead, use your anger as a guide to help you learn more about yourself, your boundaries, and what you need from others, and in turn, teach the people around you how you need to be treated. Therapy can be a helpful tool to teach you how to use your anger productively and set boundaries that protect your mental health. Going through a rough patch with your mother can be emotionally challenging. However, practicing self-care by prioritizing your needs and putting them above the needs of others can help you cope.

This can take different forms depending on the dynamics of your relationship with your mother. If you are a victim of child abuse or know someone who might be, call or text the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at to speak with a professional crisis counselor. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. People may sometimes hate their mothers if they have been mistreated by them or repeatedly let down.

This hatred is a strong emotion that can be difficult to cope with. While it is often expressed impulsively as anger, it can be helpful to set boundaries instead. Struggling with stress? Our guide offers expert advice on how to better manage stress levels.

It frustrated you, and after a day or two with us you would want to go home. You overplayed your hand in the end. There was a level of grief I was prepared to put up with, but then you started on my child, and that was it. I played the part, though, and behaved like the perfect host through the rest of your visit.

I even kissed you goodbye at the airport. But as I watched you walk to the gate, I swore the next time I would see you was in your coffin. And I felt nothing but relief. Please include your address and phone number. We are only able to reply to those whose contributions we are going to use.

The letter you always wanted to write. Does it feel uncomfortable for you? For many people, it does in the beginning, but the more you practice giving yourself a little self-care, the more likely it is that a feeling of emptiness will start to dissipate. When you eat an unhealthy diet, you are naturally going to feel unhealthy. After all, you are what you eat. Try to get enough sleep, too. It's a lot easier to slump into nothingness when you're mentally and emotionally depleted.

Set boundaries or cut ties with any toxic people in your life, even if those toxic people include your mother. It will be easier to make room for people who fulfill you and bring happiness into your life.

When you don't have a relationship with your mother, Mother's Day, holidays, and other special occasions where friends are enjoying time with their mothers can be difficult. Here are some ways to help you get through those times where you can feel the loneliest. Stay off social media channels a few days before and after Mother's Day. It will help avoid reading the things others say about their moms. Put filters on your email account to prevent Mother's Day ads from getting through, or simply empty the junk file without reviewing it first.

You can still celebrate Mother's Day by honoring someone who has been like a mother to you. If you have children of your own, take them out, and celebrate yourself. After all, you have your very own holiday. Go out with friends and celebrate the fact that mothering is one of life's greatest gifts. You can even donate the money that you would have spent on Mother's Day to your favorite charity or cause. Although this can be challenging at first, you must recognize that your mom's issues are hers alone.

You can't control what she says and does, but you can control your response to it. Verbally validate yourself by saying out loud, "I am worthy. I don't need my mother's love or validation. Surround yourself with people who know your story and will understand your feelings about your mother. We are told that our relationships with our parents are supposed to be the most important relationships in our lives.

Unfortunately, that's not the way things happen for some people. One way or another, it's worth a shot to work towards healing from a bad relationship with your mother. A big decision in your healing process is to decide whether to include your mother. This is a personal decision that only you can make, and is the most important time in your life to trust yourself truly.

If you feel like it will strengthen you to have her there, consider asking her to accompany you to a counseling session where a therapist can help you sort things out together. Something that makes a big difference in answering the question about whether to include your mother is whether they've done their work in healing from abuse, substance abuse, or mental health disorders. Moms who have worked hard to work on themselves may be more deserving of a second chance. Always make the best decision for yourself based on your needs.

This isn't an attempt to heal her from her issues, so don't feel obligated to ask her to join you on her behalf. During sessions, don't feel obligated to protect her from the issues that brought you to this point. If you believe that it will be helpful for you to invite your mother to all or part of your counseling sessions, choose your time to bring up the subject wisely. Do it in person and pick a time when the mood is calm without any distractions. Try to anticipate her response and tell her that you have compassion for her and the things that led up to how she parented you.

Let her know that it's time for you to work on your healing. Andy understands why some people see this as a surprising decision, but has no interest in sustaining a relationship for the sake of it. Helen lost contact with two of her four adult children this year, after ending an emotionally abusive relationship with their father.

She believes her former partner has used the same manipulation tactics on her children as those that destroyed their marriage. During a period of gaslighting that spanned many years, she says he told lies about her behaviour to friends and family.

When I joined a local band he told everyone I was crazy and that I wanted to run away and become famous. The divorce impacted the children hugely, and damaged them emotionally.

I really miss them. Narcissistic personality disorder and a family separation. Vaccination strategies and return-to-office policies vary greatly from country to country. Research shows menopausal women often leave the workforce due to the symptoms. Knowing what toys to buy for a crawling, gurgling baby is mind-boggling. One in 50 people suffer from the condition, which can include cognitive impairments, anxiety, muscle tenderness and sleep disturbance.

Please update your payment details to keep enjoying your Irish Times subscription. What pushes someone to cut all ties with their mother or father? Lizzie Cernik.